Peer Perpectives

My first interview did not actually go according to plan. My intrigited attitude came off to harsh and that is where I probably went wrong. Candidate number one was my cousin, a 15 years old girl from Connecticut. I drove head first into the discussion of 'after death" by asking how she wanted her body to be handled. In all honesty I am interested in what other people think. I am simply interested in other perspectives of people my age. However I did not approach my first interview candidate with much sensitive and thats where I went wrong. I could feel the tension Immediately after I had asked the question. I didn't say anything thinking maybe she would give me some sort of answer. Finally she said "Buried with my mom and dad after they die.... but I don't really want to think about that" it started and ended there.

My cousin was clearly uncomfortable with the topic I was trying to discuss. There is no doubt in my mind it would have gone better if I had a better script. Fortunately I will not make the same mistake. So the interview was as bad as nails on a chalk board. I know. However I chose to write it up because I think it does contain some valuable points. Number one: People are sensitive to the topic. Talking about this enviable unknown world is freaky. Just thinking about death is scary, let alone planning for it. Proceed with caution. Number two: People are fearful that death splits apart relationships. My cousin wants to be buried with her parents, from here I began to think about some people do plan for their death. They play accordingly to their dominant fears and emotions. Is this a coping mechanism? does it help? What is the process of planning your own funeral?

Interviews number three was conducted with my sister. Her name is Hadley and she is a fairly smart 16 year old. She is pretty used to participating in these interviews for me so I can usually expect a honest insightful response. Personally I got the most out of this interview. And that is because it was more of a discussion than an interview. there was no tension, boundaries or limitations talking to Hadley. Through that I was able to hear what she thinks as well as evaluate and change what I thought. Hadley said, " I want some sort of service for friends and family. A service where they could come and remember me the good and the bad. You know just remember me for me." She talked about it in a way that seemed "light", almost beautiful and happy. To me it seemed like she wanted more of celebration of the life she had as appose to a mourning session.

"I want to be cremated. I want my ashes spread to beautiful places around the world. My most favorite places I have been and places I want to go." Hadley finished in her squeaky voice. Her optimistic attitude isn't found in alot of people. As happy as it all sounds it doesn't sound very realistic. For one thing a celebration at that stage sounds not only hard to do but also a little cruel. Dead people are usually on a high level of honor. Celebrating after a loved ones death seems disrespectful in a sense. Secondly, as scenic as the spreading of the ashes sounds it sounds like more of a fairly tale. Is it illegal to spread people ashes in certain places?

I interviewed a friend I have had since elementary school. Robert love studying philosophy, particularly works from Aristotle and Peter Abelard. Despite these interests Robert is an atheist. When we die he believes thats it. no god. no recencaration. So I asked him what he would want for his body left behind. I was expecting to hear an answer that included some type of memorial. I was surprised to get the exact opposite, "Dead is dead, it doesn't really matter to me." I guess my thinking was that if a person believes there is only one life, one body, then why not cherish that one you have?

Robert fathers passed away when he was only 4 years old. Being so young he does not remember much of it. I hinted to the story of his death. He told me it was a car accident. Roberts mother originally wanted an open casket and then a burial in their home town. However considering the circumstances cremation was more suiting. So he was cremated and from there set in a yearn. The plan was to still have a burial spot, however after the difficulty getting one in their home town, Roberts mother just decided to display it the yearn.

There are wide range of ideologies out there. Ones revolving around religion, personal morals. Along with all these methods there is little proof as to which one is better than the others. I dont necessarily agree with some of the methods that my candidates expressed, but that might have something to do with the fact i do not completely understand it.