Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Family thoughts-illness and dying

Everyone in my house was busy when I asked to talk. Out of luck and out of resources I sat down and joined my six-year-old brother. I did not expect him to understand the issues I had in mind. However I gave it a shot. I began by asking him how he felt when he was sick? He replied “blah.” Joking around I asked him what he ment by that. Taken by surprise he answered, that he did not feel good, “I can’t do anything.” So I asked him what he wanted to do but couldn’t do when he was sick? And sure enough I was surprised by a response. My brother explained to me that he likes having play dates with his friends. But when you’re taken over by some illness that’s the last thing you want to do. Somehow my brother described the feeling we have all experienced. When most people get sick, they turn into blobs. Unresponsive and sad they choose to isolate themselves from others as a healing process. Why do we choose to isolate ourselves? Curl up on the coach, hide away in our rooms? Why do people want to be so alone? Well my brother told me the reason he did not want to see his friends was because he was embarrassed. Discomforted by what they might think of them. Personally, I just don’t feel like myself. I don’t want to see friends; all I want is to be alone to be better. Often times ill make a commitment to myself that I will change my lifestyle to avoid getting sick again. But honestly that does not last very long, and then once again Im stuck in the same situation.

In our society that’s how it works. People are divided, the ill get sent away to a hospital with the other ill. We don’t like being uncomfortable, useless, embarrassed.

What other methods are there? My brother told me about taking medicine, “the yucky stuff” that makes you better, and the quick fix to getting better. In his mind, when a person is sick they take medicine, because that what will make you better. In my house there is no objections to taking medicine. If you feel lousy, headache, stomachache, cough, running nose, well take some medicine. To restore and regain yourself this is the quick easy allopathic method. Would changing a diet, doing some exercise have the same effect? My mother does not seem to think so, “A longer course of action should be taken when you’re dealing with something serious.” Could you please define serious mother… in her opinion, Systematic change is only necessary when medicine cannot “cure” you.

These really weren’t the answers I had expected or wanted to hear. I prepared my self for a discussion a little deeper. Maybe one that had some personal experience involved. I feel as though I received answers all that I have heard before. Boring. So I started to think, about my family, my family’s history, my history.

I remember very vividly getting sick once while at my grandma’s house. The reason I remember this so intensely was because of how strange I thought it was. I was dealing with the common types of flu symptoms and my grandma refused to give me medicine. As a kid who despised the taste all I wanted was to get better ASAP. So instead of taking me to the doctor or filling me with medicine, she handled it her way. My grandmother put me in bed, and tended to my needs. Which was nice, I liked getting pitied I enjoyed the attention. The weird thing about it was that my grandmother didn’t resign to any allopathic method. In her mind some tea and a simply prayer would do it. She instructed me to close my eyes and talk to God. Tell Him what was wrong; tell Him what I hoped for. Guess it couldn’t hurt, but unlike her I had no belief that it would make things better.

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